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'Neil understands,' Kevin said, dropping his hand and sending Andrew a pointed look. It was cruel to even dream he could stay like this, but Kevin had escaped, hadn't he? Somehow he'd left that bloody room behind at Edgar Allan and become this, and Neil wanted the same so bad he could taste it. That thought was sombering, as it put him right back to square one and the fact that Neil Josten was a fleeting existence. See it the only way it really matters, where Exy is the only road to take. 'Forget the Foxes and your useless high school team and your family.

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Kevin reached up and covered Neil's eyes with his free hand. 'You're never going to get there on your own, so give your game to me.'

If you won't play with me, you'll play for me,' Kevin said. 'You also said you wouldn't play with me, but here you are. 'This is going to be a very long season.' Whatever it was, it didn't look particularly happy. Neil didn’t remember what he’s said or done to irritate his father so much.” All of his men were well-versed in knife-fighting, and more than one of them had tried to stick Neil like a pig.Īnd there on his right shoulder was the perfect outline of half a hot iron. His father wasn’t called the butcher for nothing his weapon of choice was a cleaver. Along his abdomen were larger overlapping lines from confrontations with his father’s people while on the run. Faded scars crisscrossed here and there from his life on the run, either from stupid accidents, desperate escapes, or conflicts with local lowlifes.

#Goodreads the foxhole court skin#

A shapeless patch of pale skin from his left shoulder to his navel marked where he’d jumped out of a moving car and torn himself raw on the asphalt. A pucker with jagged edges was a finger-width away, courtesy of a bullet that hit him right on the edge of his Kevlar vest. It started at the base of his throat, a looping scar curving down over his collarbone. He stared at her face as she stared at him, watching her gaze sweep over the brutal marks of a hideous childhood. She wasn’t fast enough to hide her flinch, and Neil saw her shoulders go rigid with tension. Her mouth parted on a silent breath and her expression went blank. Neil knew she wouldn’t be, and he was right. Abby dropped her hand and Neil pulled his shirt over his head before he could lose his nerve.Ībby thought she was ready. Neil wasn’t going to tell that psychiatrist a thing, but he nodded. “But know that when you want to, I’m here, and so is Betsy.” “You can’t ask me about them,” he said at last. That door is closed, and it comes with a lock. I’m here to help, remember? I’m your nurse now. Chances are I’ve seen a lot worse than whatever it is you’re trying to hide from me.” She put a finger to his chin and turned his face back toward her. Neil looked for a delicate way to say it. Tell me why you won’t take off your shirt.” “I want to make this as painless as possible, but I can’t help you if you can’t help me. “I can’t check track marks through cotton, Neil.” I wasn't much but it was more than enough.” He dug his fingers in before letting go, not quite hard enough to hurt and said, 'that's why.' Then Andrew was back, as calm and uncaring as always and he caught Neil's wrist to push his hand to his side. In the space of one breath, Andrew's expression went so dark Neil almost retreated. 'No,' Andrew said and Neil's hand froze a breath from Andrew's arm.Īndrew went still as well and they stood for a minute in awful silence.įinally, Andrew looked back at him, but for a moment, Neil didn't know who he was looking at. Neil reached for him, unwilling to let him leave without a real answer. You know it isn't-Andrew wait!' he insisted but Andrew was turning away like he couldn't hear Neil anymore. “After everything they did to you, how can you stand me?' Neil asked.He gestured between them knowing Andrew would understand.

I feel like I could lean on him all day and he wouldn't break a sweat.” 'He's stronger than I am, and I like that. He's like this, all hard edges.' He drew another box. But oh my god, you should see what it does to his body. He's a total outdoors junkie, rock climbing and hiking and mountain biking, all that awful bug-infested fresh-air stuff. I like…' He drew a box with his fingers as he searched for words. Too many curves, see? I feel like my hands would slide right off. He felt compelled to say, 'Some of the strongest people I've known are women.' He thought about his mother standing unflinching in the face of his father's violent anger and her ruthlessly leaving bodies in their wake. Neil thought about Renee's bruised knuckles, Dan's fierce spirit, and Allison holding her ground on the court a week after Seth's death. Nicky looked startled by the interruption, but he rallied quickly and made a face.